A fable? I wish.
...written on 2004-10-29, @ 11:33 p.m.
Sometimes I think I get in over my head. Or not really that. But something similar to that. My heart is way too open. You'd think by now it would be all hardened and used to silly things like crushes and it would just repell all good feelings so they wouldn't get inside. But there's this little thing called hope that just won't die inside of me.
Ugh. I just suck at life. That's all. I need to work on staying calm about things and thinking that they will turn out to be the worst. That way, if they don't, it will just be that much better and I won't be let down. So my frame of mind will have to be, 'maybe I'll make a new friend'. And if anything happens (which I highly doubt it will, since he'll completely regret telling me to come see him) then it will just be even better.
In other news...I had two midterms today. One was completely horrible and bad. The other was pretty good...except I didn't have enough time to finish my essay because I knew too much. The short answer questions themselves could have become essays. I need to do better in school so next year I can find a different place to go and they'll actually accept me.
My room is so cold right now. Contributing to that could be the fact that I'm wearing a tiny lil tee and no socks. But I want a warm room! Why do we need a window open unless it is hot. Oh and in related news, I really don't like Jackie very much. And it's starting this early. I mean last year I only started getting annoyed with Meredith during the last few weeks when I just became fed up with her using all my stuff! I think it was the realization that I would be going home opened my eyes as to how next year rules would have to be laid down. But Jackie...it's like she cannot do anything for herself. At all. I have to help her pick out clothes in the morning. She won't go to the dining hall unless she has people to go with her because she doesn't want to be seen eating alone. And she can't go with just anyone...only Amber and Nico and Daniela because they are so much cooler than Jenn and I. She shoots us dirty looks if Amber or Nico comes in to talk to us. She didn't speak to Daniela for a night because Daniela watched the Sox game with Jenn, Scott and I. Jenn is bothered by it just as much as I am. We should probably say something...but it's only October. Just two months of living together.
Enough complaining. The moral of the story here is: study a lot for midterms, be upfront with roommates, don't fall for guys online, keep your heart inside and don't open it up for anyone. Also...be careful. Because being broken is not fun.